cotton candy look and the reason why I stopped blogging

4 1/2 years ago my life totally changed. I broke up with my boyfriend and one of my best friends - two persons I spent the most time with. I wanted to be free and without pressure, so I think this was one reason why I stopped blogging. The other reason was - I was overwhelmed with everything. Other people read the newspaper every morning, what I did, was reading hundreds of new blogposts of people I followed. I was at a point in my life where I was asking myself questions like: "Why are you doing this?" "Who is even interested in what you're wearing?" "This is so superficial!!" I was fed up with reading other blogs and with the pressure of blogging and taking pictures all the time. And I was shopping addicted. In every blog article I saw something new really nice I thought I need to have - I NEED TO BUY IT! It was crazy. So I stopped blogging, I stopped taking pictures, I stopped reading other blogs and I stopped the crazy shopping. I lived my life, enjoyed every second of it and was happy!

But with one part of my heart I was always sad I gave up my blog and after a year I started really missing it and I was thinking about starting again. But the last 3 years I went through hell with having constant bladder infections and serious pain almost every day. I stopped working out and didn't feel good, in my body and in my soul. I was just depressed and unhappy and my main goal was getting healthy and fit again. Which I'm still struggling with. I feel much better now, but I am not completely healthy. I know many girls out there suffer from constant bladder infections, but I don't know anyone who went through the pain I experienced. No doctor was able to help me, so I gave up on the academic medicine. I felt so lonely and sad with my problem, since no one could help me, not even a doctor, not my boyfriend, not my family - I was totally alone and I am still. Every time I was in horrible pain, I was desperately searching on the internet a way how I could feel better. One day I found a forum where many other girls exchanged the same problems I experienced. It was so good to read that I'm not the only one out there and that there are girls who suffered from this 10 years and are feeling better now. This forum helped me a lot and gave me hope, I read about a book which is called "Was Urologen Ihnen nicht sagen. Risiko saurer Urin" from Siklinde Hakushi (I don't know if this book is available in English). I started reading it, applied her advices and it was the first time after 2 years I felt better. I'm still struggling with bladder infections and I'm not healthy, maybe I will never be - but it's much better than it was before. I found ways and tricks to avoid bladder infections for  about 80% when they are coming. After reading the book I totally changed my eating habits. I used to be the girl who did a lot of "low-carb", which means a lot of animal products. I am still not ready (yet) to totally give up cheese, eggs and sometimes a burger. But I try to eat 80% vegan (including lots of fruits and veggies) and I feel so much better with it.

Last year I got a new smaller camera and started to take pictures again with two of my best friends. It was so much fun and I enjoyed it like in the past. I started to post my looks regularly on instagram and my community was growing quickly and the most important thing: I enjoyed blogging again :) So I decided to get back to blogging here - but without pressure. I will just write articles when I feel for it and I have something to say and not because I have to do it. Maybe sometimes I'll write a lot and the other day I'll just post some pictures with my outfit. I hope you don't mind, we'll see how it goes. But at the moment I can tell you, that I'm super excited to have my blog back and to share my looks and much more with you :) I think I will post some of my looks from last year, so I can fill my blog with new content. Some of the posts from 2012 and 2011 make me laugh. I definitely changed my style a lot, well, this is how fashion works, right? :)

So let's just shortly get back to the superficial stuff ;) I went sale shopping with an old school friend. We went to Zara and my main goal was to just shop basic stuff, since I always buy too fancy clothes and for work or "real life" I have "nothing to wear". I'm sure you feel me ;) So I just bought white and black sweaters, shirts and this jeans. I saw this pale pink sweater hanging there and realized it's super cute and I even touched it and thought " Wow - how soft is the fabric", but I didn't end up buying it. But then I was thinking about this sweater almost every day and already created some looks in my mind, so a couple of weeks later I went to Zara again, with the intention to buy it if they still have it. And guess what: there was just one piece left, so it was meant to be :)

pictures by Nina Christina Kern

Sweater & Jeans ZARA 

Boots UGGS